who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
