i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
