I am in a vortex of obligation.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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