it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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