I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
