Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
how drunk are you?
Several
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
