please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
