chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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