The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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