idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
