Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
