hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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