Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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