yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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