I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
