Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
