We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
they're like a gay fantastic four
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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