you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Randomize
