Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dignity is for republicans.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize