Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
