Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
