Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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