He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
