at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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