I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize