I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
