FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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