When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
