So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
too bad you live with your parents still
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
