Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.