If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way