I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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