Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize