I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
