Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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