What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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