Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
