Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
