Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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