i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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