who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
