Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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