Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
