i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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