Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
