**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
