Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
