Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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