i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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