lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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