Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The uberlube is also flammable
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
