Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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