she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
