i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
