That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
