New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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