But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
