For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
