a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
