My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
It's shark week go big or go home
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
