I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
